So yea, she stopped texting me...

... and I hate the feeling I'm getting from it. She said she likes me, but she stopped texting. It's like she lost interest in me. It makes me feel so lonely when I think about it. I feel unwanted. It's like I always screw up my chances with any girl, and she's the most recent one for me to screw up those chances. I always end up being an idiot. I always get way too emotional quickly. I think about if I'm ever good enough for anyone.

Dammit...

A Little Post

To God (if He's really there):

Did you see the things I posted earlier? What say you? Are you still going to be silent and not do anything? You going to change our lives for the better yet? You know we need your help. Where are you?

Trying to Make Myself Cry

It's been a while since I last cried hard. Now, I'm finding it very difficult to cry. When I'm out there, I always feel like crying, but every time I get the chance to be alone and do it, I can't. I've tried to suppress and suck up all my emotions that it's now really hard to cry. Crying makes everyone feel good afterwards. It's therapeutic. That's exactly what I need right now, to try to let all my worries, anger, pain, and sadness go, but I can't do it. Last time I really cried was when I watched "Grave of the Fireflies." I don't think I have the time to watch that just so I can cry. It feels like I can't do any productive work until I cry hard.

Drama time again!

Wow, it's been a while since I went emo here. Here I go again.

"Death is the solution to all problems." That rings in my head all the time. Sometimes, I just don't know anymore why I still bother with life and its shittyness. Think about it: God's solution to sin? Death. Punishment to the most criminally insane? Death, at least in some places. Does life have a lot of problems? You bet. And what is the opposite of life? Death. Ok, that logic might have a lot of loopholes, but whatever. The point is, life mothafucking SUCKS.

What's so special about being alive? Life is full of shit, yet everyone wants it. Humans want it, animals want it, fuck, even cockcroaches want it. Why? Is survival really that important? If you're dead, you don't have to deal with problems anymore.

I don't know, I just don't want to bother anymore. I'm just... tired. So sick of tired. Yet, amidst all of that dislike of life, deep, very deep inside, I know I still want it. I'd want it even more if there's even a very small hint of chance that things will change for the better. But if one truly believes that the world will be a better place in the future, that is a sure sign of insanity. I just think that everything will just go downhill and keeps going downhill.

I truly wish I have the power to change everything. Just change everything.

I want my recreation.

Rise to the Top

The majority of the population spends all their time grinding and toiling their asses just to survive, to keep living, to put some food on their table. They work so hard and earn so little to keep their mediocre lives going. Why would anyone accept mediocrity? Are their lives mediocre because they don’t dream of greater things, or do they take mediocrity because that’s all they can get? If it’s the latter, then how come a few rise and have the best lives they could ever have? Why isn’t that true for everyone? Why is the majority pushed into uncontrollable circumstances and drowned into desperation, and continue struggling just to keep their miserable existences going?

I want to know how to become a billionaire. I want to know what it takes for me and what things I should do to finally stop being broke all the time. If only I don’t have to deal with my parents’ debts, if only financial problems are non-existent, then I probably wouldn’t even have the desire to make a billion bucks. But I’m just so sick, really sick and disgusted at where I am now. I have nothing going for me. My job doesn’t even deserve to be called a job. I don’t consider it a job. It’s just a waste of time. I have been going to the same community college for almost 5 years. I don’t know what I accomplished in those 5 years. How smart should I supposed to be to have something to live for? How hard-working? Why should I even care?

The Age of Vigilantism Has Begun!

The last few years were the years of vampires, thanks to the gayest vampire movie of all, Twilight. Now, it seems that it’s all about vigilantes: The Green Hornet, The Mechanic, The Cape, and of course my favorite serial killer, Dexter. Yes, the time to stand up for true justice is now! In the movies and TV shows, at least. We’d be fucked if we really became vigilantes in real life, and it’s because there isn’t enough justice going around! Criminals have the right for a trial?! WHERE IS ABSOLUTE JUSTICE?!?! WHERE???!!!?!!??

Oh, and when I looked for a picture of “The Cape”, this is one of the results:

OOoooOOooOOOOoohhhhhh……………

In A World, Where Internet is Not Free…

So there’s been a lot of news lately about FCC and net neutrality. This is very important because all of this will affect every single Internet user here in the US. Surely, I’m not alone when I say that Internet is doomed once these ISPs gain the power to block access to applications, websites, etc. as they please. Moreover, if the day comes that they decide to limit our access to the Internet, that’s the day when things change for the worse. Imagine not being able to watch a full streaming movie from Netflix because your Internet usage is up for that month, or not being able to play World of Warcraft because you have to wait until next month to be able to go online again. At least that’s how I understand this whole issue.

Everyone should not stay quiet about this. Don’t let Internet freedom get taken away!