I Passed the Written Test at DMV!

Haha, I passed it on the first try! I got 6 mistakes! I thought I was gonna fail when the lady crossed out 6 mistakes because you can only have 6 or less mistakes in order to pass. When she crossed out the sixth mistake, I was like, "That's enough! That's enough!" Maybe she heard my mind, so she stopped, hahaha. Now I can drive, but I should have someone with me. The next step is passing the actual driving test! After that, I can finally have my driver's license! Booyah!

So There IS Something Wrong With Me

I knew it. There's definitely something wrong with me. Maybe that's the reason why my social (and very likely, emotional and mental as well) health is very fucked up. This is an emergency crisis. Life has been sucked out from me, every last drop of it. I've been acting like a zombie for a very long time. This is bad, REAL bad. I know I have to change, but I really need other people's help. But I don't know how to tell them about this. It's too embarrassing and humiliating that I'm having this pathetic problem. Fuck. What am I gonna do?

Sa Wakas! (Translation: Finally!)

Nope, still no girlfriend, if that's what you're thinking. BUT, I finally got my green card! I got it last week. Yay, I'm not a semi-illegal alien anymore! I can finally work legally and get a driver's license! Soon I will have two of the big three, which are a job and a car. Isn't it about time fate gives me a way to get the last one, a GIRLFRIEND?

... And You're It!

This is effing hilarious!


Online Videos by Veoh.com

My Life Is Still A Puzzle

Sometimes, I try to think of all the things that has ever happened to me from the day I was born until now. I try to put them all together like puzzle pieces, but until now, I still can't see the final picture of my life. Maybe I'm not supposed to see it until I die, but sometimes I just really wonder why things happen to people and why they happen to me too. Maybe I just have to go with the flow of my life, not trying to make an effort to change anything. But is that really living? Is it wrong to try to improve your life by doing reckless actions? Is it sinful to take risks? Maybe God just want me to follow my destiny, to follow His way of doing things. But what is my destiny? How am I supposed to see that path, if there ever was one? Why did He give us the ability to have desires, when we can't have those desires?

I've tried to find work several times in downtown LA, but it never works out for some reason. And now, I have a job at a phone card store, but it doesn't seem like it's the right work for me. In fact, I might quit in a few days. I just can't bear the kind of work there. It's too much for me. Are these signs that I'm not supposed to work at all until the right time comes? When is the right time? How do I know what I'm supposed to be doing in my life? I'm so confused right now, not knowing what I want to do with this so-called life. I can't even remember the last time I actually FELT alive. It seems like inside, a corpse has been already rotting for a long time now.

As a result, I lost any interest in anything. I no longer want to care about whatever happens to me because thinking about what I'm supposed to do is useless. I will never know what I want to do, at least not for now. I do hope this ambiguity of my life doesn't last forever. I wish everything goes clear already, a clear picture of my life and the puzzle pieces that has always clouded my restless mind.

Dramatic Prairie Dog on VH1's Best Week Ever!

The dramatic prairie dog, a 5-second video clip of a very funny dramatic prairie dog, was featured on VH1's Best Week Ever! This is really funny!!

Crap...

I think I'll stop doing the quotes thing because, I'm tired of it... :D

I'm really really bored right now. I don't know if I'll take summer classes at LACC... most likely not. I really don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do in life! I need some direcciones! Plus, I now really want to get the heck out of LA. I don't think anything significant will ever happen to me if I stay here any longer. I need to live somewhere else!!! It's been a crappy life since we moved here. I want to move somewhere quieter, but not too quiet, without a lot of people. Damn, once I get the chance to move, I'll do it as soon as possible.

Heya!

Well I haven't posted here for a while, and I really don't feel like telling anything today, but I'll do my best. Spring semester is over, and I'm going to look for a job downtown. I hope I finally get a job and earn some cash. I'm kinda getting tired of school, and I still don't know what I really want to do in my life. That sucks, but I'm sure I'll figure it out one of these days... maybe I just have to keep on taking classes until I figure out what I want. Well that's it for today, so see ya! :D

Happy Birthday To Me!

"Urban birds have developed a short, fast "rap style" of singing, different from their rural counterparts."

It's 12:02 AM, May 6, 2007. I'm officially 20 years old! Yay! Well, there's really nothing to be excited about, maybe other than the fact that I'm no longer a teenager. Now for my birthday wish...
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There, although I doubt that it'll come true. Damn, there's a lot of things that I want to have? Why can't I have them all?! Hehehe.

Well, I'm 20, and I still don't possess what some 20-year-olds have to be considered successful. It's kind of depressing, but I'm sure I can do it. I will do it! I'll be as successful as I want, and nobody can stop me! Muwahahaha!

*sigh* Well, my boring life goes on, I hope. I wonder how old I'll be before I finally give up on this blog.

The New Lancer!

"As of 2006, 200 million blogs were left without updates."

The new 2008 Lancer GTS is awesome! Here's a pic:
The new Evo will come out next year, but the new Lancer is out now! Damn, I want one! It's clutchless! Yay! XD

Oh, and in other news, there's been another campus shooting here in the US, this time at Virginia Tech. I have some issues of my own about the world and stuff, but I'd never shoot anyone just to express my anger, then kill myself. Well, if I had to kill someone, it'd only be myself. I won't go as far as killing other people. That's just plain pathetic! An interesting fact for me about this is that the killer was a Korean immigrant. Hmm, I wonder what triggered his psychotic mind... well, that's it for now, I'll post some more news later.

Going Insane

"Pele has always hated his nickname, which he says sounds like 'baby-talk in Portuguese'."

I'm not sure, but maybe I can be considered, medically, as "insane" if I go and let myself be checked by a psychiatrist. This feeling of loneliness is taking over my life. I searched "loneliness" on Google, and I found a website that gives the reasons why people feel lonely, and almost all of those reasons can be found in my situation. This is really crazy, but it's true. Maybe it's safe to call myself "mentally and emotionally unstable." I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I just hate it so much; I really want to change my perspective in life. I want to be a happy person once again, assuming that I once was a happy person. I can't even do my essay because of this! And it's due next week! I always hear in church that Jesus is the only one who can take away loneliness, the one who can fill the holes inside of people. Is this really true? If it is, then I want Him inside me very badly. But how do I do that? Do I just ask for it? I already did that several times, but nothing happened. Either I'm not doing it right, or it's all fiction. Is there a right way to talk to God? Am I not really saying what I want to say to Him every time I try and talk to Him? Why won't He show Himself to me? Is it wrong to ask for a hard and tangible evidence that He really exists? I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore. I can't find the right people to really understand what I'm going through. Well maybe I have to work on myself opening up, but how do I know that the people I talk to will understand what I have to say? I hate this... see, I always post negative things on this blog! I'm frighteningly pessimistic! I really want to change, but it's almost impossible! God, if You're really there, I beg you, please show Yourself in my life right now... I just can't take this anymore....

And The Next Essay Arrives...

"Fingerprints of koala bears are similar (in pattern, shape and size) to the fingerprints of humans."

It's 12:22 am, and I'm still awake. I got nothing better to do than posting another blog here. It's spring break, so lucky me, hehe, I guess. But I have another essay to do! And I'm still not done with the book! Yes, it's a lot harder than the previous one, and I need more brainpower to fully understand it. I just finished reading the second to the last chapter tonight. I'm gonna finish reading it tomorrow, and maybe start doing the draft. But I really like this book. It's this one:
It's a nonfiction book about Richard Rodriguez and the inevitable change that education gave him. In some ways, I can relate to him and understand the loneliness he faced as he went through his academic studies. Hmm, I guess nerds do have problems with their intellect when they try to be like everybody else. It's lonely to be at the top...

I'm really sleepy now, so I'm out! See you next time!

Lonely Friday Night

"The Himalayan gogi berry contains, weight for weight, more iron than steak, more beta carotene than carrots, more vitamin C than oranges."

I'm here once again, alone in the house, nobody to talk to. I haven't even received one call from any of my friends. The only call that I got was from my dad. This sucks! I know I'm not the only one who thinks life is very, very, overwhelmingly boring. Why can't we permanently end boredom in this planet? Damn! I just wanna go out with a chick! I thought one of my female friends would be available today, but she had to go with her family out to dinner. AAAAHHHH!!!!! Am I the only one that's alone in a house right now? If my friends do call, they'd just ask me to drink with them. But I don't feel like getting drunk; in fact, I don't wanna get drunk ever again! I hate it! Even with my new hobby, which is my guitar lessons, my life's still pretty boring! I gotta go and get myself a girl, or else I'll really lose it!

Ok, Done With This Essay. Next!

"A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight."

Phew! I'm finally done with my essay! I've never done a 4-page essay before! I'm more confident now to do more essays. And I know the next ones are going to be harder. Wish me luck! Oh wait, I don't believe in luck. I believe in skills!

I Have To Finish My Essay!

"People trust Swedes! Swedish companies are the world’s least-likely to be perceived as paying bribes."

I found this very interesting video about why Asian guys don't get white girls, and why Asian girls go for White guys. What do you think? Is this true?



Also, I have to type my essay on the computer to see how many pages I've done so far. I have to do 4 pages, and it was due on Thursday, but the teacher (miraculously) extended it until next Tuesday. Phew! That was a relief! I really hate doing essays, but I gotta do it!

School in 8.5 hours

"Earth is the only planet not named after a pagan God."

I'm just bored, so I'm gonna paste another nonsense again. No wait, I'm gonna make it interesting for you guys, so I'll look for something interesting on YouTube for you to watch.....................................................................................
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............. ah, here it is! This one's pretty funny!!

It Never Ends

"The first product to have a bar code scanned was Wrigley's gum."

I just made a little something, like a poem, because I'm feeling very crappy right now. So, here it is:

It Never Ends

The cycle of hatred never ends in my mind

I am full of anger, jealousy, revenge and resentment

But I don’t know why this is so

I want to cry, but I forgot how

I don’t know if I learned love in the first place

I no longer know the reason why I hate

I want to do good, but someone else inside me wants it bad

I feel rejected and hated

My family doesn’t try to figure out why I do what I do

Do they really care?

They tell me to speak, but do my words matter to them?

Will they listen to me as they listen to my brother?

Will I have freedom as my brother has it?

Full of confusion, my mind seeks peace

I long for the wisdom of love

I want to love, and to be loved

But someone else inside me rejects it

He tells me that I should have my vengeance

From all the hurts and humiliation that I faced

From the moment I was born until now

He wants to destroy everything

My life, my family, my friends, everything

Can I still stop him?

Where do I get the strength I need?

Divine intervention never comes when I need it

I need miracles in my life, I want it badly

I want something to happen to me

So I can help others when there’s no one else to help

I want it all to end

All the suffering, all the weaknesses, the unfairness

If only I can recreate the world

A world devoid of hate and confusion

A barren of unwanted feelings

I can’t change the past

But can I still change the present,

So I can grab the future that I so long for?

I want everything to change

I want someone to bother

I want someone to be concerned

I’m scared of loneliness

I don’t want to be resented anymore

Every time I try to go away, something bad happens

I guess I just have to surrender

Surrender to goodwill of man

Someone help me

I’m so weak, I’m so tired

Please let me speak my mind

I want to release it all

I want to change into a better person

I want to give all that I have

Not destruction, but restoration

Not resentment, but forgiveness

Not cold-heartedness, but caress

Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy

Everything should change

Is it too late now?

Can I still have another chance?

Will they forgive me for everything?

I wish I can do miracles

I wish I can be released from the nightmare

This nightmare that never ends

Please, someone wake me up

I want my true consciousness now

The evil inside of me must disappear

Please, if You’re really there

Will You not help me? Do You still care?

Do You still love me?

Can You still see the confusion, the suffering?

Do You still have the light to guide my way?

Please don’t forget me

I wish that when they see me again, things will be better

Please give me a miracle right now

It may be too much to ask, but I don’t want this

I don’t want things to be like this forever

I want another chance to be heard

I wish someone’s praying for me right now

That things will be better

The miracles that I want

Won’t they come?

Please, change everything

End the cycle…….

Please, release me from this……..

Back To School

"A jiffy is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Thus the saying, I will be there in a jiffy."

So, I'm back to school again....... nothing new......... I actually did the very first homework in Statistics........ Never done that before, since I hate homeworks......... But I wanna do better now........ Need to make sure I pass every single subject...........
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Sorry, I'm just bored. It's almost 12 midnight, but I'm not sleepy yet. Eh, whatever, here's another gorgeous girl, and it's Scarlett Johansson this time.

Wooo......

"No piece of normal-size paper can be folded in half more than 7 times."

Wow, it's been a long time since I last posted here, and a lot has happened. I won't post those things here, since it's too much, hehehe.... I'm too lazy to put them here..... Anyway, I used to complain about not having a girlfriend, right? Well now, I don't feel like having one. It's like it's ok if I still don't have a girlfriend, I can just enjoy my single life for as long as I can. But strangely, there is a girl that likes me, but I'm not sure if I should take her as my girlfriend. I used to like her when she still liked someone else, but now that she likes me, well I don't know..... I really don't have any feelings for her anymore, so I'd rather have us to stay as friends because I don't want to hurt her feelings in any way. So...... yea...... I guess that's it for now...... but before that, here's another super-hot girl, Amber Lancaster!